There's nothing funnier than hate


Chris. GMU '15 (ish). A grabbag of comedy, science, culture, punk music, politics, and being a hipster.

And God smote the dinosaurs for their skateboard hubris

(via aspongeintheocean)

gengarvevo:

keep your electric bill down and don’t turn on the lights ever

(via woodcommalithia)

beyoncebeytwice:

i need more redeeming qualities my amazing sense of humor isnt getting me anywhere

(via bonafideweirdo)

(via ocelotic)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
i think you're husband material
funnierthanjesus funnierthanjesus Said:

I’m trying to sleep and you’re saying cute things and getting me flustered 😳

shamelesslyunladylike:

lesradicalfeminisms:

tumbling-torterra:

a-strawbarry:

houseofheavy:

etspiritusvitae:

the female body is hardcore as fuck. 

Yes is it.

so is the male body
it’s sad to see so many people like this on this website


OP is praising the fact that women hold a fucking infant in their belly the size of a ribcage, get the fuck over yourself for 3.5 seconds.

*~*~follow for more fragile male ego~*~*

The male body is more susceptible to hereditary diseases because of their lack of a second X chromosome. Their testosterone production ages them faster and causes them to die sooner. Their center of gravity is higher because of their tiny little hips and overgrown shoulders, making them easier to topple. Their gonads are placed outside of the body, in a very vulnerable position, because they do not function properly if they get a little bit warmer than usual. They have non-functional nipples, but still enough breast tissue to get cancer.The male body is not hardcore. The male body is to the female body what a shoddy, unstable mod is to a well-estabilished piece of software. Sit the fuck down. And try to not crush your fragile pathetic outside gonads when you do it.

shamelesslyunladylike:

lesradicalfeminisms:

tumbling-torterra:

a-strawbarry:

houseofheavy:

etspiritusvitae:

the female body is hardcore as fuck. 

Yes is it.

so is the male body

it’s sad to see so many people like this on this website

OP is praising the fact that women hold a fucking infant in their belly the size of a ribcage, get the fuck over yourself for 3.5 seconds.

*~*~follow for more fragile male ego~*~*

The male body is more susceptible to hereditary diseases because of their lack of a second X chromosome. Their testosterone production ages them faster and causes them to die sooner. Their center of gravity is higher because of their tiny little hips and overgrown shoulders, making them easier to topple. Their gonads are placed outside of the body, in a very vulnerable position, because they do not function properly if they get a little bit warmer than usual. They have non-functional nipples, but still enough breast tissue to get cancer.

The male body is not hardcore. The male body is to the female body what a shoddy, unstable mod is to a well-estabilished piece of software. Sit the fuck down. And try to not crush your fragile pathetic outside gonads when you do it.

(via ocelotic)

9,349 plays
The Smashing Pumpkins,
Siamese Dream

dualpaperbags:

paulmcfruity:

This Icelandic police force has the most adorable Instagram account 

Meet the Reykjavík Metropolitan Police, serving the capital of Iceland. By the looks of their incredible Instagram account, a normal day includes holding kittens, eating candy and wearing false mustaches.

There’s more where those came from | Follow micdotcom

For the record the Icelandic police are probably the best police force in the world, There has only been one instance where an officer shot and killed a civilian in the entire history of the country (which is nearly a hundred years) and everyone was completely devastated by it, the police especially — because, as made clear in their statements after the incident, they understand their function is to protect the people. Not to mention that their general police go unarmed except for special squads.

Let’s run through some more facts while we’re on the subject: Compared to 31,000+ shooting deaths in the US in 2009, Iceland had… 4, because they have very rigorous screening processes for gun permits. There is very little economic disparity between upper, middle and lower classes, and social welfare programs take care of their people. Drug use affects less than 1% of the population between 15 and 65 years old, and 90% of drug-related court cases are settled with a fine rather than jail time. Violent crime is virtually non-existent. [x]

Iceland is like if you took the entire idea of chill and personified it as an country, and this exemplifies that. 

(via candycrystalcyanide)

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

(via comme-laurier-rose)